Best Last Minute Christmas Gift Ever: Big Star Frozen Semen

Nick Skelton and Big Star at Rio Olympics. PC: Arnd Bronkhorst/FEI

Nick Skelton and Big Star at Rio Olympics. PC: Arnd Bronkhorst/FEI

Fellas: Did you wait until the last minute to get your lady your lady the perfect Christmas gift, and now you’re scrambling to find a decent gift card or overpriced jewelry? Step away from the charm bracelets and get her what she REALLY wants this Christmas: Three straws of bonafide, top quality, Olympic Gold Medalist frozen manhood essence from none other than Nick Skelton’s Big Star!

It’s true: For just $1200 a dose ($3600 for the recommended three doses), your significant other can have her beloved mare bred to the world champion stallion who has been floating through her dreams ever since Rio. ¬†You will officially be the greatest Christmas Morning Hero of All Time who first had to ask his lady to slip on a pair of latex gloves before opening her present.

"It IS gift wrapped, hon." PC: cc/Wikimedia Commons

“It IS gift wrapped, hon.” PC: cc/Wikimedia Commons

All your collective dreams are made possible through Spy Coast Farm, the North American distributor for Big Star’s paternal legacy. Spy Coast Farm has been providing fresh and frozen semen from a triumphant team of studmuffins for decades, producing some of the most talented horses in the business today.

Big Star is more than just a fleeting lucky break on the big scene: The 13-year-old Dutch Warmblood was bred to win, and win he has with both an individual and team Olympic gold medal to his name.

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Big Star is the son of Quick Star, ranked #3 in the World Breeding Federation of Sport Horse Sire Rankings. His dam Jolanda was a successful show jumper in her own right before retiring to broodmare life, and her sire was the great Nimmerdor, the foundation sire of the VDL Stud, and named Stallion of the Century in 2000.

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Just trust us on this one, gentlemen. You can’t go wrong with champion horse semen on Christmas Morning. And ladies, if your man ends up following Jane Seymour’s advice instead of ours and getting you the gaudy charm bracelet, you can of course always buy your own studmuffin service at Spy Coast Farm’s Website, where there are more than a dozen other stud services to choose from, as well.

Happy Holidays!