The Night Santa Quit Horses – A Christmas Poem


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Santa’s long forgotten horse team, and how they came to lose their jobs to a team of feral reindeer.

‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the stable,

Poor Santa was fretting if his horses were able.

The toys were all ready

But the horses were not.

With his sleigh pullers ailing,

Santa was quite distraught.

All the IVs were hung

on the stall fronts with care,

some legs had been cold-hosed

‘til the vet could get there.

Poor Bella had rainrot

And Gordo had thrush

Jellybean pulled a muscle

When he spooked at a brush

Though sometimes dear Rhoda

Could be very sweet,

Christmas eve she decided to go into heat.

Old Roger was moonblind,

And Jake was too green

Pete had colic or gas-

It remained to be seen.

Trouble was best,

But he has the cushings.

If he they took him unclipped,

He’d look like a Wookie.

Santa sat on a bucket,

And looked down the barn row

Wondering how he would ever get to and fro.

The vet bills were growing

They’d make Mark Cuban balk.

Half his elfs don’t make toys now,

Instead they hand walk.

As Santa sat moaning

He looked out on the snow.

And saw eight wild reindeer,

With nowhere to go.

“It just might be crazy,”

Said St. Nick full of bliss

“But eight crazy reindeer

Would be better than THIS!”

So that’s how the reindeer

Came to be Santa’s hitch,

And there’s never a colic

Nor a last minute glitch.

The horses retired

But they still hear the bells,

And each Christmas eve

all their knees start to swell.

Merry Christmas, Jumper Nation!


This piece first appeared on our sister site, on December 24, 2015.